


Doggy Style

by Accidental_Child



Series: A Hogshead Of Hogwash At Hogwarts [2]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Blowjobs, Christmas, Dinner, Embarrassment, Gen, Harry Being Insane, One Shot, Pranks, Randomness, Revenge, Snape Having A Sense Of Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-10
Updated: 2013-02-10
Packaged: 2017-11-28 22:11:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 502
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/679421
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Accidental_Child/pseuds/Accidental_Child
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry confronts Sirius with a question. An embarrassing question. Sirius should have known not to mess with his godson.</p><p>OR, Wherein Snape finally discovers a sense of humor.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Doggy Style

**Author's Note:**

> Yes. That is all.

It was Christmas in Grimmauld Place. There was a huge dinner that Molly had cooked up, and the entire Order of the Phoenix had been invited. Everyone was content. Well, apart from Snape, but then again he's never happy.

Harry put down his glass, and smiled evilly in his head. It was time. He gave a small nod to McGonagall, who returned the nod and sat back to enjoy the show.

"Hey Sirius! I've figured something out!"

Sirius looked at Harry in surprise, but couldn't help but ask; "Why?"

"I know how you survived without a man or a woman in Azkaban."

Sirius leaned forwards. "Do tell."

"I asked someone about whether it was possible for cats and dogs to give themselves blowjobs…"

At this point there were a few badly hidden chuckles and sounds of choking. Harry continued on regardless; "And I was told that it was indeed possible for them to give themselves blowjobs."

Harry smiled his special 'I-Am-So-Innocent' smile.

Sirius stared at Harry in horror. "How… How on earth did you find that out?"

Down at the far end of the table, someone broke into laughter. Everyone turned to see who it was.

Snape. Severus Snape. The world was ending.

The looks of panic, shock and horror were obvious on everyone's faces. (Well, except for Harry. Harry was too busy trying to work out what Sirius had said. He had this nagging feeling…)

Severus continued to cackle with evil laughter as he realized how fun it was to freak people out. What should he do next? Give out sweets in his Potion's Class? Wear a color that wasn't black? So many ideas… Eventually, Snape calmed himself down.

Harry stood as he realized what had been nagging him about his godfather's statement. He had to bring it to the attention of everyone there! He voiced it. "I knew it! You did give yourself blowjobs! HA! That's kind of gross, but HA! I knew it!"

Harry started doing a happy dance. WHAT? He's allowed to, he IS insane after all! He had a right to dance GOD DAMMIT!

Back to the story. Sirius buried his head under his arms. It didn't do anything to hide the blush; Dumbledore could still see it from the opposite end of the table. Remus grinned evilly. Sirius had deserved this. Last week, he had sent a howler to Harry for no apparent reason. AKA: No reason at all. As many people have quoted: "Karma is a bitch."

McGonagall laughed along with everyone else at the table. Life was good, especially when getting revenge for pranks done well over twenty years ago.

Harry patted his godfather on the head and smiled with satisfaction. "Better luck next time Siri'. You need it."

And with that, he dug back into his food, happy about a good days pranking. Maybe he should try it at school? The Twins were gone, after all. People needed cheering up. Yes, Harry decided, I'm gonna be a Pranksta! Now, what to do first…?

**Author's Note:**

> No. That is all.


End file.
